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Q: What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A: A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six-pack. Oops! Guys, did you mess up and now you need a 'make-up' gift for your special lady? Are you looking for unusual stuff for your bachelor haven? Check this out: Please
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Manly Joke of the Week If Men Ruled the World... Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you." Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it. Birth control would come in ale or lager. You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme." Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness. Tanks would be far easier to rent. Garbage would take itself out. Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps." Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!" Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. "Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops.(Or to the crooks.) The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football From A Different Camera Angle." Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
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Manly
One-liner I don't have a big ego, I'm way too cool for that. Manly
Quote "Like a lot of married men, I got the "You just don't appreciate me" speech once from my girlfriend. I promised to treat her royally for the remainder of the day. I took her to lunch at Burger King and Dairy Queen for dessert." - Unknown Testosterone
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