A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash. He walks over to the bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says "Sorry sir. You can't bring that alligator in here! It's a dangerous animal, and you're scaring all of the patrons!" Sure enough. The man looked around and noticed that everyone was standing on the tables, looking very nervous. "But wait!" he cried. "This alligator is tame. It wouldn't hurt anyone."

However, the bartender is adamant. The man continues, "If I can prove that this alligator is not vicious, can he stay?" "Well, I guess so," says the bartender, "however, you're going to have a devil of a time proving to everyone here that your alligator is tame!"

The man smiles, and leans over the alligator. "Ralph!" he shouts. "Sit up." With that, he beats the alligator on the head with his fist. BANG. BANG. BANG. And the alligator rears up on its tail. "Ralph, open your mouth." BANG. BANG. BANG.

And the alligator opened its huge mouth wide, revealing row upon row of gleaming white teeth. The man pulls out his wang, and lays it in the alligator's mouth, as the entire bar crowd gasps. "Ralph! Close your mouth, but don't bite." BANG. BANG. BANG.

As the man pummels the alligator on the head, the giant mouth slowly closes, and stops just short of biting the guys d**k off. The crowd sighs, and the man says, "Ralph, open your mouth." BANG. BANG. BANG. The alligator's mouth opens wide again.

"There," says the man to the crowd. "Now would anyone else like to try this?" A blonde in the back says, "Yeah, I'll try. But only if your promise not to hit me on the head so hard."