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Joke of the Week Archive

October 2000

Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat. Astonished, one of them says, "I went to my parents wedding last week and we all got rat-arsed."

Being quick on the uptake, the second one says, "My dad says he will marry my mum next year." Despite this, the nun stays right where she is. In desperation, the third one says, "My old man will never ever marry my mum."

The nun looks up from her food and sweetly says, "Would one of you bastards please pass the salt."

Biff went to his friend's house unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, "Biff, you can sleep on the floor in the living room, or you can sleep in the room with Baby." Biff said that he would prefer the floor.

The next morning he went to the bathroom, and there he met a gorgeous young blonde. "Hi," Biff said, "who are you?"

"I'm Baby," she replied, "and who are you?"

"I'm stupid..." he said.

A group of Cubans desert their island on their way to Miami. In the middle of their arduous journey, one of the Cubans (the oldest one) suffers a major heart attack and as a last wish asks for a flag to say good-bye to his dearest Cuba. Having abandoned everything in Havana, the other Cubans search desperately in their boat to find something that will resemble a flag of their country -- a T-shirt, a handkerchief - anything.

Almost ready to abandon all hope, a 20-year-old girl interrupts their desperate search to offer a tattoo of the flag that is inscribed on the left cheek of her buttocks. The young girl pulls down her shorts and slowly lowers her underwear showing the Cuban flag on a beautifully shaped, tanned buttock cheek. She approaches the dying man and sticks her ass right on his face.

The old man caresses the "flag," grabs the cheek with both hands and starts kissing the flag with great passion, saying, "My dear Cuba, I say good-bye to you with great sadness. My land, my flag, Havana...I will miss you so." After going on for almost 15 minutes non-stop, he says to the girl, "Now, Chica, turn around, por favor. I want to kiss Castro good-bye!"

A man is driving home late one night and is feeling very horny. As he is passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander. He thinks to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around here for miles.

He pulls over to the side of the road, picks out a nice juicy looking pumpkin, cuts the appropriate size hole in it, and begins to screw the pumpkin. After a while he is really into it, and doesn't notice the police car pulling up.

The cop walks over and says, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"

The man looks at the cop in complete horror, thinks fast and says, "A pumpkin? Is it midnight already?"

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