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Joke of the Week Archive

November 2000

A man comes home from work, sits in his Lazyboy, in front of the TV and rudely tells his wife, "Gimme a beer before it starts." She gives him his beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says again, "Gimme a beer before it starts." She does.

A few minutes later, he asks again for a beer, the wife goes, "Don't you think you're exaggerating? It hasn't been half an hour that you got here and you already had two beers. I'm getting fed up with this."

The husband looks up and mumbles, "Now it starts."

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.

"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand though why they were trying to kill each other for a measly 25 cents."

"What do you mean?" asked the guy.

The blonde replied, "All they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'"

A new employee was invited to the boss's house for dinner, as a way of welcoming him into the company.

After they had eaten a large meal, the new employee leaned sideways on his chair and let an almighty fart at the dinner table.

The boss, with a look of disgust, turned to the man and said, "How dare you fart in front of my wife?"

The guy replied, "Sorry - I didn't realize it was her turn!"

A man is in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. Every time the kite gets up into the air, it comes crashing down. This goes on for a while, when his wife sticks her head out of the front door and yells, "You need more tail."

The father turns to his son and says, "Son, I'll never understand your mother. I told her yesterday I needed more tail and she told me to go fly a kite..."

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