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Joke of the Week Archive

July 2000

The car was pulled over by a highway patrolwoman for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, he noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" he asked suspiciously. "I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act." "Well, show me," the officer demanded.

The juggler took out the machetes and started juggling them; first three, then more until he was tossing seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show in the breakdown lane and amazing the officer.

Just then, another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "My God. I've got to give up drinking! Look at the test they're giving now."

A little boy hears the word "Whorehouse" in school, comes home, and asks his father what it means. His father is quite shocked, and replies, "Well, uh... you go there to... have a good time."

The boy starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go there too, but his father insists that he's too young. Saturday night his dad and a few friends go to "Suzie's" to "Have a Good Time," not knowing the little boy is following them.

After his father leaves, the little boy enters the whorehouse and tells the Madam that he wants to have a good time. She's a bit puzzled at first, but being a kind-hearted lady she gives him three doughnuts and tells him to leave.

Later that night he comes home, his parents all worried. His father approaches him first and asks him where he's been.

"IN A WHOREHOUSE!" he screams proudly.

"WHAT? Well... uh... how was it?"

"I managed the first two without any problem, but I just licked the last."

A dick and a foot were complaining about their lives. The foot said, "He puts a smelly sock on me, puts me in a shoe, and makes me run around until I get all sweaty."

The dick said, "That's nothing, he makes me put on a leather overcoat, climb into a dark cave, and do push-ups until I puke."

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door. She proclaims, "I want to join your biker club."

The biker guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her, "You have a bike?"

The little old lady says, "Yea, that's my Harley over there," and points to a Harley parked in the driveway.

The biker asks her, "Do you smoke?"

The little old lady says, "Yea, I smoke. I smoke four packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool." The biker is impressed and asks, "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?"

The little old lady says, "No, I've never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."

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