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Joke of the Week Archive

August 2000

Three jockeys were enjoying a night's drinking. As the evening passed, they became more and more morose.

The first jockey said, "My wife is having an affair with an electrician!" When asked how he knew, he explained that he had found a voltmeter under his bed.

The second jockey also admitted that his wife had a lover, but that her lover was a plumber as he had found a monkey wrench under his bed.

The third jockey was, by now, looking really depressed. After some urging, he admitted that his wife was also having an affair, but that he knew that she was sleeping with a horse!

Asked how he knew, the third jockey replied, "Last night I came home and found a jockey under my bed!"

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar, and after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.

Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

The NFL announced today in a press conference that one team from the league needed to be eliminated. What officials have decided to do is combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team therefore saving jobs. They will be known as the TAMPACKS... They're only good for one period and have no second string!

The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door. As she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. "Do you realize what time it is," she asked.

He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house."

Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she said, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"

His answer was: "A round of drinks!"

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