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Joke of the Week Archive

September 2000

The husband was perusing a detailed sex manual and his wife asked him why. The husband replied that he was tired of being in the same old rut.

"But I don't understand," the wife protested, "I thought we had a very good sex life."

"Well," replied the husband, "let me put it to ya another way..."

One day, little Johnny heard some strange noises coming from his parent's bedroom, so he walked in to see what was going on. To his surprise, he found his father on top of his mother. "Daddy, what are you doing?"

"Umm ... I'm playing poker, Johnny."

"Then, what's Mommy doing, Daddy?"

"Umm ... she's my wild card, Johnny." Johnny appeared to be satisfied with the answers and walked away.

The next day, little Johnny spent the entire morning in the bathroom. His father started to get worried, so he knocked on the bathroom door. "Johnny, what are you doing in there?"

There was no answer, so his father opened the door only to find little Johnny in playing with himself. "Johnny, what the hell are you doing!"

"I'm playing poker, Daddy."

"Oh, really. Well, where's your wild card?"

Johnny grinned and replied, "With a hand like this, who needs a wild card!"

It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.

In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"

A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, right on his penis. Obviously, he had to see a doctor. When he woke up from surgery, he found that the doctor had done a marvelous job repairing it.

As he got ready to go home, the doctor gave him a business card. "This is my brothers card. I'll make an appointment for you to see him." The guy asks, "Is your brother a doctor?" "No," Doc replies, "he plays the flute. He'll show you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."

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