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Joke of the Week Archive

January 2001

A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. Finally, the man heard of a very good doctor in Sweden, and went to him. The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said, "Yes, I can put you right."

After the operation, bandages off and stitches out, the man goes to his hotel. The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon and yells, "You swine, you gave me a woman's ears."

"Well, an ear is an ear, what's wrong? Can't you hear?"

"You're wrong... I hear everything, but I don't understand a damned thing!"

A beautiful young model is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a trolley bed by a nurse and brought to the corridor. Before they enter room the nurse leaves the young beauty behind the operating room door to go in and check whether everything is ready.

A young man in a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body, then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man then comes over and does the same examinations. He then beckons to a third man who comes over and starts examining her body so closely that she begins to grow impatient.

The girl says, "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when is my operation going to start?" One of the men wearing a white coat shrugs his shoulders and says, "No use in asking us, Miss. We're just here to paint the corridor..."

A Playboy's Life

So long as a woman has curves, he has angles.

He can take one look at a girl and tell what kind of a past she is going to have.

If a girl has the time, he has the place.

In his opinion, there's nothing like good music, good wine, a good meal and a bad girl.

He starts with orchids and ends with forget-me notes.

He believes a woman's best measurement is thirty-sex/twenty-sex/thirty-sex.

He's very broad minded, in fact that's all he thinks about.

Give him an inch and he takes the whole 36-24-36.

All he asks of a woman are two keys, one to her heart and the other to her apartment.

Life for him is just one continuous round of dame foolishness.

After the big Superbowl party, Woody figured that he had better spend some quality time with his wife. He climbed upstairs, walked into the bedroom and crawled into bed. "Alright Honey," Woody said, "Give me a play you want me to run."

"How about Foreplay?" his wife replied.

"What's the Four Play?" asked Woody.

"You know," his wife replied, "It happens before the two-minute warning."

Hint for Superbowl party-goers: Don't drink and drive. Instead, if you get too drunk to drive, walk into a local Domino's and order a pizza. Then when they go to deliver it, ask for a ride home.

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Manly Joke of the Week Archive Last Updated
January 20, 2002