Welcome to Manly Jokes for Manly Men
Joke of the Week Archive

July 2001

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: Wash. Biol. Surv.

Until -- the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

"Dear Sirs:
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible."

The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.

It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was turning it on. It became firm in my hands, and the end was wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip... Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes.

Sandy, a blonde, runs crying into the office. "What's wrong?" gasps her best friend Tawny, another blonde.

"It's my boyfriend," gushes Sandy, "He was working on the engine of his car when the hood came down and cut off his finger!"

"My God," shrieks Tawny, "did it amputate his whole finger?"

"No thank goodness," sniffs Sandy, "but it was the one right next to it!"

A man requested a blonde painter to paint him in the nude. "No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing.

"I'll increase your fee two times," he said.

"No, no thanks!"

"I'll give five times as much as you normally get."

Okay, said the blonde artist, "but you have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to place my brushes."

Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Tattoo Parlor

Eagle? I thought you said BEAGLE.

We're all out of red, so I used pink.

There are two "O"s in Bob, right?

Sorry, sir, your chest will only hold the bottle dinghy.

Gosh, I hate it when I get the hiccups.

Anything else you want to say? You've got plenty of room back here.

I'll bet you can't tell I've never done this before.

The flag's all done and, you know, the folds of fat make a nice waving effect."

A man is driving late one Saturday night when a cop pulls him over. The policeman walked up to the man and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"

"Why? Was I weaving?"

"No," replies the policeman, "you were driving fine. It's the ugly, fat chick in the passenger seat that gave you away..."

Click for the Next Archived Manly Joke of the Week.
Or, Choose a Joke Category from the Menu.

Jump to Joke of the Week:
| March 2000 | April '00 | May '00 | June '00 | July '00 | August '00 |
| September '00 | October '00 | November '00 | December '00 |

| January 2001 | February '01 | March '01 | April '01 |
| May '01 | June '01 | July '01 | August '01 | September '01 |
| October '01 | November '01 | December '01 |

| January 2002 |

Manly Joke of the Week Archive Last Updated
January 20, 2002