Welcome to Manly Jokes for Manly Men
Joke of the Week Archive

August 2001

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"

"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."

"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"

"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy.

"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired the first fellow.

"My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"

"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"

I've had this odd feeling for a little while. Not funny "ha-ha," but funny strange. It's a surrealistically subconscious feeling that I was abducted by aliens and thoroughly probed. Then a friend of mine told me they got me really drunk and dropped me off at a gay bar. Those bastards...

Euphemisms for Impotence

1. A few parts shy of an erector set
2. Not rising to the level of impeachable offense
3. Disappointing Miss Daisy
4. Ascension Deficit Disorder
5. Bouncing the Check of Love
6. All Doled up with nowhere to go
7. Serving boneless pork

New and Improved Viagra Slogans

10. Viagra, It's "Whaazzzzz Up!"
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
3. Viagra, Tastes great! More filling!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!

And the number one slogan, being considered by Viagra:
1. This is your penis... This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?

Top Things You Hear On
A Football Broadcast
That Sound Dirty, But Aren't

20. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it.

19. He came at his blind side and got him from behind.

18. He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow.

17. It's a game of inches.

16. That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it.

15. When you get down in this area, you gotta just start pounding it.

14. He's gonna feel that one tomorrow.

13. He found his tight end.

12. End around.

11. He had to stretch to get it in.

10. He's got great hands.

9. He blows them off (at the line).

8. He bangs it in.

7. He could go all the way.

6. He gets it off just in time.

5. He goes deep.

4. He found a hole and slid through it.

3. He pounds it in.

2. He beats them off (the line)

And the number one thing that sounds dirty, but isn't:
1. He gets penetration into the backfield.

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Manly Joke of the Week Archive Last Updated
January 20, 2002