A Mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers:

1. Open your fly.
2. Take out your equipment.
3. Pull back the skin.
4. Do your business.
5. Let the skin forward.
6. Stow your equipment.
7. Close your fly.

She checked on him often to see if he had learned the lesson, and heard 1,2,3,4,5,6,7.

She was very happy until one day she checked and heard 3-5, 3-5, 3-5.

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Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy. He pushes up the seat and balances his little penis on the rim. Just then the toilet seat slams down, and little Johnny lets out in a scream.

His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his genitals and howling. He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles, "K-k-k-k-kiss (sniff) it better." Little Johnny's mother shouts, "Don't start your father's sh** with me!"